Someone refused to give me a reference today. To soothe the savage rage which I can only assume is now burning a hole deep in your heart on my behalf, let me explain something: she is a Head Teacher I worked for 7 years ago, and haven't had anything to do with since. So I can't say I blame her, really. I mean, I could have been up to all kinds of no good in the last seven years. (If you are reading this because you're considering employing me and are doing background checks, then please note: I have not. I promise.).
What I'm really annoyed about is the fact that I know perfectly well she was the most inappropriate person to ask (I'm not stupid) but I didn't have a choice, thanks to the world's stupidest online form.
It all began a couple of weeks ago, when I applied to mark Key Stage 2 SATs tests this summer. The application process involves an online form, which kicks you off the system if you can't provide certain information about some of the basic criteria you need to meet to be a marker. I can see why this makes sense. They want people who have a teaching qualification, for instance, so if you can't furnish the details of the institution where you studied, or the degree you obtained, there is no point carrying on answering the rest of the questions. Saves time and heartache for everyone.
Another essential criteria for markers is having had some UK teaching experience, so one piece of information which the form asks for is the details of your most recent teaching post. As it happens, I haven't been a permanent, full-time teacher since I worked at this particular Head Teacher's school seven years ago. I did do bit of supply work after I left and then worked for a couple of private companies doing advisory/consultancy work with schools, but didn't work directly for any of them. So, technically speaking, her school is my 'most recent' teaching post, and those were the details I put down.
The problem came when, several questions later the computer helpfully auto-filled the 'references' section with these details, and wouldn't let me change them. Even though I had filled in lots of other questions about more recent periods of employment, there was no way to tell the form "don't ask her, ask one of these people instead".
Trying to make the best of a bad situation, I decided, out of courtesy more than anything else, to send a quick email to this woman, explaining what had happened, and that I hoped she didn't mind, and that she might hear from the company running the tests, and how I realised it was a bit odd to have to be asking someone I knew so long ago for a reference. (At least, I thought I had explained all of that: the email I got from her today, saying she felt reluctant to provide one, and why, suggests I didn't do as good a job as I thought I had.)
Basically what I am saying is, it was a pretty stupid online form. There must be lots of people in my situation: advisors, school improvement partners, retired teachers, independent consultants and the like, who are perfectly qualified to mark test scripts but haven't been in a classroom for a while. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, and I could be wrong about this because I don't have time right now to check, I *think* they actually target people exactly like this in their advertisments.
I can see that it would be necessary to verify that I did actually teach at this particular school, and if the 'reference check' was just a fact checking mission, rather than a request for a comment about my abilities, I would be perfectly OK with that. But if it is anything more than that, which I suspect that it is, then it's a pretty stupid form. Why not let you choose who you want to nominate as your reference?
In happier, and totally unrelated, news: I have been working at Royal Festival Hall today and this morning wrote something to that effect on Twitter. Within half an hour, I had two festivals following me. I am now looking for any opportunity to shoehorn the words "attractive, eligible, kind, smart, and funny men" into all future tweets.
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