What would make we want to start to blogging again after a hiatus of nearly six months?

is what you're probably wondering. 

There are a few things actually. But today it's mainly this. 

Before you ask, I don't quite know how I Googled my way to a Competitive Eating Competitions website either. It's not the most exciting example of web-design (I know at least one person who will be having kittens right now because it doesn't have any pictures) but the content more than makes up for it.

I can't decide what I love the most. First, there's the events.  Competitions like the World Peanut Butter and Banana Eating Contest, which was held in Biloxi, Mississippi a few weeks ago. Or the challenge where a girl called Betty ate one each of all 25 items available in a particular vending machine.  There are events for whole turkeys, for crawfish, oysters, sausages, spaghetti.......you name it, someone somewhere will have tried to eat it. Lots of it. And fast.

The Daddy of all competitive eating contests, though is the Philadelphia Wing Bowl.  Since the inaugaural competition  in 1993, when Carmen "The Beast From the East" Cordero won with a nice round total of 100 wings, the Wing Bowl has pitted the best of the competitive eating world against each other in a fierce competition to see who can consume the most chicken wings. Vomiting, which happens a lot less often than you might think, is known as a ‘reversal of fortune’.

Everyone knows that Bill "El Wingador" Simmons is the king of the Wing Bowl.  I mean, the clue's in the name.  He won five times between 1999 and 2005, then retired, then came out of retirement in 2008 for Wing Bowl 16, and broke the elusive 200 wing mark, which is basically the equivalent of the 4 minute mile.  Unfortunately, so did two other guys and El Wingador only came third.  This was the first year anyone had managed to eat 200 wings; Wikipedia tells me that this had something to do with a change in chicken wing providers that year, but I'm prefering to see it as a Chariots of Fire type moment of glory. 

So the events are pretty special. But then there are the contestants.  I mean, what's not to love about Arlene Kratz - 'Little Arlene' to her fans - who used to do promotional work for the Philadelphia 76ers, who are some kind of sports team.  I've been reading an old LA Times article about hernwhich talks about the time she took on 5 junk-food addicts known as (wait for it......) the Philadelphia Phill-ups.

"The Phill-ups reeled away in belching agony while Little Arlene sat there, daintily dabbing at her mouth with a napkin after inhaling 23 hot dogs, 22 large slices of pizza and 16 large Cokes. She then offered to challenge all comers to an oyster-eating contest. 

'Arlene,' Pat Williams (general manager of the 76ers) said, sighing, 'enough is enough.'

Later, the 76ers received Arlene's hotel bill, and included was a full course roast beef dinner, which she had consumed before the contest. Truly, her digestive tract belongs in the Smithsonian."

As a general rule, competititve eaters have excellent names.  At the 2009 wing bowl Hank the Tank and Da Disposal tied for third place.  Other key players on the circut include Juan "More Bite" Rodriguez, Gravy Brown, Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, Andrew "Skinnyboy" Lane, and Rich "The Locust" Lefevre.

Scenes from a Chinese restuarant

I ate at an all you can eat Chinese restaurant on Saturday night. As all you can eat Chinese restaurants go, this one wasn't bad.

But then, these things are all relative.  Especially if twenty minutes before you walked into the Chinese all you can eat restaurant in question you had been right on the verge of walking into something else. Specifically, into the cheese room of the perfectly nice wine bar you were already in.  That's right, we were in a place with a whole ROOM of cheese to choose from.  In my head I was already enjoying a nice stinking bishop.* 

The problem was I was with a big group of people, a couple of whom didn't want to stay at the wine bar.  This became apparent just after two of us had definitely decided we were going to have some cheese, but before we'd actually set off on our expedition to the sacred room.  So it seemed rude to leave.

 One woman started the "maybe we should go somewhere else for food" discussion, then a few others joined in.  None of them wanted to offer an alternative of course, they just murmured vaguely about how somewhere else might be better.  A guy who kept reminding everyone how flexible he was and how he really didn't mind where we went and what we ate, said what he really fancied was a good steak.  Someone else muttered something about sharing plates.  In the meantime, the woman who started the whole thing had somehow managed to order a sandwich which she ate quite happily, and then announced it didn't really matter where we decided to go, because she was off home.

Anyway, eventually someone decided it was time to make a decision, which is how we ended up at the world's most technologically advanced all you can eat Chinese restaurant.  Not eating cheese.  I'm not complaining really, I'm glad someone finally made a decision, and it wasn't terrible meal. It just wasn't cheese.

What was this incredible technology, you might be wondering?  I'm glad you asked.  It was their signage.

To help you grasp the significance of this, let me explain: these are all pictures of the SAME SIGN.  A magic sign of many colours.   If I had done better research I could tell you exactly what brand of electronic, chameleonic sign it was, but I'm afraid I can't.  I am no Stieg Larsson.

Bathroom signage was less technically advanced, and more cave-man like:

But further evidence of their technical expertise came in the form of some rather impressive (although not, strictly speaking, Chinese) sushi:

You may not be as impressed with this sushi as I was. To start with, as was pointed out to me while I ate it, there is a distinct lack of raw fish. (Some may argue that this is a good thing. To those people I'd say: what are you doing eating sushi in the first place?) Speaking as someone who occasionally rolls my own (don't worry, I never inhale), let me tell you: sushi which looks like this would be pretty hard to make.  It's the mini rolls in the corners which would be the tricky bit, and to be honest I'm still not sure how they got them in there.  The physics of it all is enough to make my brain hurt.

Sushi wasn't the only thing on the menu:

The other thing I forgot to take a photo of was the tepenyaki chef in the corner who would cook food while you wait.   He was great.  If you looked like the kind of person he really wanted to impress, he even set your food on fire right before serving it up.

*cheese-wise, obviously.

If you are dieting, do not read this

I have never quite worked out what Posterous is for, but Daniel Young, the guy who runs youngandfoodish.com (great name, no?) clearly has. I'm glad, because otherwise  I would never have known about this:

That, cholesterol fans, is a plate of Cadbury Creme Eggs Benedict.  I am deadly serious. Those things which look like hash browns are FRIED CAKE.   If you are feeling brave (or are just insane) here are the full instructions, courtesy of cakespy.

(One person says in the comments:  I can't decide whether to throw up or make this for lunch.  Good point well made, I think.)

I am reminded of a poster I saw in New York:

This was at Eleni's cupcake shop, at Chelsea Market, which is brilliant and well worth a visit if you are in the Big Apple.  Americans, as you may already know, take their cupcakes very, very seriously.

Here's another picture:

 This is not a cupcake; it's the burger and fries at The Spotted Pig, also in New York.   If you are going to New York and ask people you know for suggestions of what you should do there, chances are EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU SPEAK TO will tell you about the Spotted Pig. At least that's what happened to me: three friends, a New Yorker I met at a wedding in Sydney, and two different in-flight magazines recommended it.  I'm extremely glad I listened to them.

If you have not been put off Cadbury Creme Eggs completely by the idea of Bennedicting them, you might like this, which comes courtesy of http://www.pimpthatsnack.com/:

Just to be clear, that's a normal sized creme egg in the bottom corner. 

Pimp That Snack (fans of intellectual property law might be interested to know it used to be called something else) is the kind of website you shouldn't start to explore unless you have some time on your hands.  My friend Suse told me about it: she also pointed me towards whatnottocrochet.com, which could also chew up lot of your time, if you are anything like me.  Here is a taster:

I mean, who *wouldn't* want a zebra head made of wool?