Scenes from a Chinese restuarant

I ate at an all you can eat Chinese restaurant on Saturday night. As all you can eat Chinese restaurants go, this one wasn't bad.

But then, these things are all relative.  Especially if twenty minutes before you walked into the Chinese all you can eat restaurant in question you had been right on the verge of walking into something else. Specifically, into the cheese room of the perfectly nice wine bar you were already in.  That's right, we were in a place with a whole ROOM of cheese to choose from.  In my head I was already enjoying a nice stinking bishop.* 

The problem was I was with a big group of people, a couple of whom didn't want to stay at the wine bar.  This became apparent just after two of us had definitely decided we were going to have some cheese, but before we'd actually set off on our expedition to the sacred room.  So it seemed rude to leave.

 One woman started the "maybe we should go somewhere else for food" discussion, then a few others joined in.  None of them wanted to offer an alternative of course, they just murmured vaguely about how somewhere else might be better.  A guy who kept reminding everyone how flexible he was and how he really didn't mind where we went and what we ate, said what he really fancied was a good steak.  Someone else muttered something about sharing plates.  In the meantime, the woman who started the whole thing had somehow managed to order a sandwich which she ate quite happily, and then announced it didn't really matter where we decided to go, because she was off home.

Anyway, eventually someone decided it was time to make a decision, which is how we ended up at the world's most technologically advanced all you can eat Chinese restaurant.  Not eating cheese.  I'm not complaining really, I'm glad someone finally made a decision, and it wasn't terrible meal. It just wasn't cheese.

What was this incredible technology, you might be wondering?  I'm glad you asked.  It was their signage.

To help you grasp the significance of this, let me explain: these are all pictures of the SAME SIGN.  A magic sign of many colours.   If I had done better research I could tell you exactly what brand of electronic, chameleonic sign it was, but I'm afraid I can't.  I am no Stieg Larsson.

Bathroom signage was less technically advanced, and more cave-man like:

But further evidence of their technical expertise came in the form of some rather impressive (although not, strictly speaking, Chinese) sushi:

You may not be as impressed with this sushi as I was. To start with, as was pointed out to me while I ate it, there is a distinct lack of raw fish. (Some may argue that this is a good thing. To those people I'd say: what are you doing eating sushi in the first place?) Speaking as someone who occasionally rolls my own (don't worry, I never inhale), let me tell you: sushi which looks like this would be pretty hard to make.  It's the mini rolls in the corners which would be the tricky bit, and to be honest I'm still not sure how they got them in there.  The physics of it all is enough to make my brain hurt.

Sushi wasn't the only thing on the menu:

The other thing I forgot to take a photo of was the tepenyaki chef in the corner who would cook food while you wait.   He was great.  If you looked like the kind of person he really wanted to impress, he even set your food on fire right before serving it up.

*cheese-wise, obviously.