Did you spot the deliberate error last time? (Here's a hint: I am now being haunted by visions of students up and down the country writing "Walter is an idiot, innit" or "beanbags are, like, SO 14th century" on their exam papers). Yep, I forgot to include my usual disclaimer. I'm not always entirely accurate so if it's a matter of national importance that you get your Canterbury facts straight, I heartily recommend this book by Peter Ackroyd.
Briefly, because I've got a picnic to get to, here's the Squire's Tale:
The Squire's Tale: Genghis Khan is having a birthday party. Now, Genghis Khan might have had some pretty bad press over the years, but he also has his fans, and the Squire is definitely one of them. I'm not for a minute saying that I condone some of the stuff he did, but it's sort of irrelevant to this particular story and it is his birthday, after all. So let's put aside thoughts of killing and torture and mass slaughter for the time being and give him the benefit of the doubt. All you really need to know about Mr Khan for the purpose of this story is that he throws one hell of a party.
Everyone's having a brilliant time and the catering is particularly excellent. While everyone is tucking into some food, a gate-crashing knight arrives, but it's OK because he brings presents from the King of Arabia and India. And this is a King who knows how to shop. One of the presents is a magic brass horse, which, as well as being "the horsiest horse anyone had ever seen", could take you anywhere in the world, instantly. There's also a mirror which handily warns you about any impending doom so that you can make plans to avoid it, and a ring which lets the wearer understand the language of birds. Always useful. Finally there's a sword which cuts through metal like butter, but also has magical healing powers. Not a bad stash, even if you take into account the fact that the ring was actually a present for Genghis's daughter Canacee, and not the birthday boy.
The party continues and there's quite a buzz about the presents; they're the only thing anyone is talking about. The knight sticks around and he struts his stuff on the dance-floor with Canacee for a bit, has some food, and then gives Genghis instructions for how to use the magic horse (quite a complex arrangement involving various pins behind its ear).
It's quite a heavy night and everyone sleeps in the next morning, except Canacee who was sensible and left the party early to get her beauty sleep. (Don't you hate smug people like her?) She's up bright and early and goes out for a walk.
On this walk she comes across a falcon up a tree, who is repeatedly stabbing her beak into her own chest. It's not a pretty sight, so I hope you're not squeamish. There is blood everywhere, so much blood that there is a real danger that the falcon might faint through lack of blood and fall out of the tree. Of course, Canacee is wearing her new ring (what girl wouldn't have taken the chance to show off a brand new piece of bling?) so she asks the falcon what the matter is. The falcon is so shocked to see a human who is fluent in bird-speak that she faints and falls out of the tree anyway; but once she comes to, she tells her story. The falcon is self-harming because she has been unlucky in love.
She takes a very long time to tell her story (I don't have one of those magic rings, so I don't know if the tendency to over-act is a characteristic common to all falcons or if this one in particular was just a bit of a drama-queen. I suspect the latter.) The bones of it, though, are that she was madly in love with this boy bird, a tercelet, and he did the dirty on her with a kite. If you ask me, she should have known better than to trust a tercelet.
Canacee takes the bird back home and nurses it back to health. Somehow, eventually Canacee's brother reunites the two birds and the Squire says he's going to tell everyone the story of how he did it, but first he wants to tell them about the history of Genghis Khan, and also about his other son Algarsif who won his wife by magic, using the horse, and then about the pair of brothers who both wanted to win fair Canacee's heart and had a big fight over it.
The Franklin, realising that at this rate they are going to be there all night, steps in at this point and sings the squire's praises "That was great! I'm LOVING the falcon! I wish my son was as clever as you!" he says. The Host, also keen to shut the squire up, takes the opportunity to remind the Franklin it's his turn to tell a story next. So we never do get to see the falcon reunited with her cheating tercelet.
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