Just as we did away with the food

Think you've got a bad boss? Meet Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis.  He was the CEO of a Houston-based oil company in the 1970s, during which time he sent some spectacularly entertaining internal memos to his long-suffering employees. Here's a selection; if you want to read them in full, and I really think you ought to, you'll find them over at Letters of Note:

I have noticed the rugs throughout this office are very dirty from people spilling things on them. I will have them cleaned (which will cost me $1,000.00); and, in future, if people cannot carry their coffee without spilling it on my rugs, we will do away with the coffee pots entirely just as we did away with the food.



Idle conversation and gossip in this office among employees will result in immediate termination. Don't talk about other people and other things in this office. DO YOUR JOBS AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!


I am not fond of hippies, long-hairs, dope fiends or alcoholics. I suggest each and every person in a supervisory category (from driller up to me) eliminate these people. Anyone who lets their hair grow below their ears to where I can't see their ears means they don't wash.


Do not speak to me when you see me. If I want to to speak to you, I will do so. I want to save my throat. I don't want to ruin it by saying hello to all of you sons-of-bitches.


P.S. On days you have to work, and you think you should be off, you wear slouchy dress attire. That will not occur in the future. You will wear proper dress attire to work always. Also, all employees should have the proper attitude to coincide with proper dress, especially on those days when you're working and think you should be off.

What, you may wonder, would a man like Tiger Mike view as proper dress attire?  Who knows.  His own wardrobe is said to have consisted only of one-piece khaki polyester leisure suits, worn with white shoes and a white belt.